The Pain of Losing Your Soul Cat: Changing Emotions, Lasting Love

Hi everyone!

I want to tell you about my soulcat Garfield.
He passed away last Friday, on Valentine’s day:(.
We shared nearly 15 amazing years together!
He was so special, so full of love and gratitude, he was always by our side, walking and staying always behind me, we really could feel each other.

He had diabetis for many years and needed Insulin seringues 2x per day.
We planned our lives arpund him, to be there at home always for him to give him his medications, he asked us and called everytime that he needs his medications and he loved lying in the sun.
Everyday he greeted us and gave us so much love, he didn’t scratch or bite, he was really like a baby and so attached to me, as I got him, he was the One, I immediately felt it and he was also the one who helped us and we are so grateful for every moment and I am sure i will always feel him and his love.

Now the hardest part:(
The sugar levels were very difficult to stabilize, so a few weeks again the vet wanted to try a new insuline.
From then he lost a lot of weight and the blood sugar levels didnt improve. I was in permanent contact with her and she said maybe the insuline isnt high dosage enough.
But she said its better if the levels are too high then hypoglycemia.
So I dont know if its because of that, she denied it.
On Thursday 13.2.25 when i woke up i didnt recognize him he was so weak, but took his energy to move towards me and he didnt eat or drink, so i immediately drove to the vet.
They gave him food woth seringues to try that he recovers and gave medications etc.
But as he lost so much weight his heart was pulsing too fast..
Friday.14.2, they called at 10 am to say he seems to get better, but needs more hospitalisation, I could come around 4pm.
I was hoping but deep inside i had a bad feeling like the weeks before.. I was happy to visit him then.
But…
at 12 am they called to tell me he is getting really bad and he might pass away…
I was crying directly, tears came and i drove quickly, but i wanted to pick my husband up, because he is his father…
I tought it would be enough time, it was a matter with minutes..
Arrived in 30 minutes, the vet said he passed away…
I am so destroyed, because i couldnt hold him in my arms to reassure him and tell him everything is gonna be alright:(.
Im feeling so guilty, because I wasnt there, im asking myself all the time shouldnt inpick my husband up, should i drive there earlier before the bad phone call etc:(((
We couldnt be there for his last breath that eats me up, i dont know how to handle this toughts and guilt…
But we took his body home to bring him home and buried him in the garden of my parents. I feel so so sorry and i hope he is not lost now:(.
and i hope he felt our presence when we were there because it was only a matter of minutes…
He fell asleep and i couldn’t say goodbye and reassure him:(

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Love and Above Cat Club replied:
Oh my goodness, Jasmine – what an incredible love you shared with Garfield! Was he a tabby? Our relationship with our soulcats is unlike any other and truly transcends time and space. I’m so so sorry to hear that you and your husband weren’t there for his last breath. I missed the passing of one of my beloved cats, Maslow, a pure white, blue eyed medium long haired cat. He died amidst a flurry of being prepped for an animal ambulance to take him from the vet clinic to a specialized hospital. I felt so many of the same feelings you have especially the guilt and continued thinking of “if I only did this…then…” It’s so hard, Jasmine.

I truly and deeply believe that love is eternal and that love lives on. And I firmly believe that our soulcats are still with us in spirit. It is NOT the same as being able to hold them, snuggle in their warmth, see their sweet faces and it takes getting used to. But this does mean that Garfield is with you always, wherever you are. I know he just passed away and everything is still so raw. When you’re ready, some things that might help move the energy as you continue to grieve – you could create an altar space in your home/bedroom with a framed photo, a favorite toy of his, his collar and maybe refresh the space with cut flowers each week. You might also place a few plants in beautiful pots near the area you buried him and when the altar flowers start to wilt, you can bring the flower petals and sprinkle them where he’s buried. When Cumin, my soulcat passed, I had stickers made with her picture, 3 different ones, and I’d put them everywhere – on a card I was mailing, something I was shipping to a friend. I also had a coffee mug made with her photo and used it every single day. These physical things and rituals just helped to bridge the gap of not having her physically here with me, but still here in spirit. We’re thinking of you and sending you a ton of love!

We said goodbye to my soul cat, Fudge, after a year of battling with nasal cancer. We found out in Jan ‘24 and gave radiotherapy a chance after being told 50% of cats could live another year. He was cancer-free for the Summer and back to his normal self. Then in November, he started sneezing again and it was confirmed the cancer was back. He was such a fighter- we still managed to have one last Christmas with him, and see him into 2025. On Sunday he looked at us with sadness in his eyes and was telling us he was tired and ready to sleep. I feel so broken. We rescued him and his best friend from a shelter after losing our first fur baby suddenly in 2017. We went back to the shelter we had rescued her from to donate food/treats and once there, was greeted by this fluffy, brown, very vocal handsome boy. Then his companion, Patch ran up to us and I sat on the floor with them having the best cuddles; it just felt right. 2 weeks later I came home and there were two sets of food mats and bowls downstairs. My mum and step-dad had decided to rescue them to help our grieving hearts from the death of our first cat. There was an immediate unspoken bond between Fudge and I. We connected so easily, and provided each other with so much comfort. He was such a needy boy, always wanting cuddles, and if he couldn’t find you, he would meow until you let him know where you were. You could even meow back and it was like he was talking to you. He was so gentle, he never swiped you, and I never heard him hiss in the 7 amazing years we got to share. He never got his claws out or bit you. He was a teddy bear- and it was like we found each other when we both needed each other most. The whole reason he was in the shelter was because their previous owner had passed away. It was like we were both mourning, and helped each other fill this void. My heart literally aches to think he isn’t on this Earth anymore- and feels different to anything I’ve experienced before. I constantly question whether we did it too early but looking back on his life in pictures, you could tell he was finding it harder and harder to push through. At the moment, I feel a kind of numbness- like I have no tears left to cry. I feel lost and empty without him but reading this makes me less alone.
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Love and Above Cat Club replied:
Hi Shona, thank you for sharing with all of us. I’m so sorry to hear about Fudge but wow, what a battle – and I’m glad you and your family got more time with him and he with all of you. Fudge really does sound like just a cuddle-love bug! I know the doubt we can be left holding after they’re physically gone. Sometimes we wonder if we did it too soon like you mentioned and then other times, we wonder if we didn’t do it soon enough. I look back at some of Cumin’s photos and wonder if I waited too long. But here’s what I always come back to – Fudge, Cumin, they’re our soul cats and we Know our soul cats just as they know us and they both communicated to us when they were “ready.” Just know you’re definitely not alone and you sharing your story with us will help others too. I’m so glad you found us here! I hope as you continue to heal, that Fudge visits you in your dreams. Take care now and reach out if you need anything!

I lost my soul cat December 22, 2024. I buried him on Christmas. His name was Bunny and he was absolutely everything to me… I got him after being assaulted at 19 years old, and i didn’t tell anyone about what happened for months. I got him a few days after it happened. He was my angel. I’ll always remember walking into the house i picked him up, 6 white kittens that were all identical. He was the fattest and the loudest, and i knew he was mine. He purred on my lap the whole way home and i felt okay for the first time in days. We spent the last 9 years together. Moved out of my family’s home, 4 apartments, 2 devastating relationships, he was always there. I had a lot of pets growing up and had lost a few to unfortunate circumstances. Every loss was hard, but Bunny was my special. It’s like he was sent to save me, and he did multiple times. I still struggle with PTSD, panic attacks and anxiety. If i ever started crying or breathing erratically he would pace frantically around me, purring and rubbing my hands with his face and sitting on me until i calmed down. So many times i cried into him and just said “thank you, thank you, thank you”. I lived alone through most of my adulthood and through all of the hardest moments of my life he was there. He was the smartest animal i’ve ever come across, he was emotionally SO in tune with me. I always told everyone “i think there’s a person in there”…He saved me so many times. He was my angel and i thanked God for him in all of my darkest moments. He slept on or beside me every single night for 9 years. He was my shadow. I recently moved and my roommate accidentally let him outside… it was freezing and we couldn’t find him. The next morning i found him in the garage and he couldn’t move but meowing in pain. Ears and nose pale and cold. I picked him up and and rushed him to the emergency vet with my car on the highest heat trying to warm him up in the passenger seat. I kept my hand on him and tried to get there as fast as i could, i became hysterical and he forced himself up and pushed himself into my lap and started purring and circling, still trying to calm me down… we got there within 10 minutes. He had hypothermia and was critical… and still he was trying to comfort me. I heard him crying as they took him away and told me there was nothing they could do, they said he was in a lot of pain and were worried he could go into cardiac arrest at any minute. I had no time to think or process, all i knew is that the one constant i had in my life, my best friend and emotional support animal, my soul baby, wasn’t going to make it. They brought him in and the second i put my arms around him he stopped crying and started purring again. I’ll never forget that. He knew i was there and that he was safe. He had been there for me through every dark moment since i was a teenager, so i tried my best to stop crying and talk to him calmly while they sedated him. I put him on my lap and he pressed his head into my hand and purred until he passed and went limp in my arms. I’m crushed beyond belief and i know i’ll never be able to replace him or the love we shared. He was soooo smart and so very special. I like to think that maybe somebody in heaven needed him just as badly as i did when we first crossed paths. I feel so very lucky for our time together, how much we loved eachother and how connected we were, how we grew together and all the happy moments we shared. But our time was cut so very short and i’m crushed. It’s over two weeks later and i had to endure my first birthday without my best friend for the first time in almost a decade. I miss him so much. I love him so so so much, and i wish he knew how sorry i was that i couldn’t save him how he saved me so many times before. I sit and cry with his photo on my chest almost every night and pray that wherever he is he feels how much i love him. The grief is unlike anything i’ve experienced before, and i empathize with everyone who has lost a soul animal like i have. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s just a pet… they are family and sometimes they take a piece of our hearts with them.
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Love and Above Cat Club replied:
Oh my goodness Jenna. Thank you for taking the time to share your story with us. I’m so incredibly sorry for the assault you experienced and also for what happened with Bunny. No matter how we lose the physical presence of our soul pets, it’s traumatic, but I think there’s another layer of trauma when it’s so unexpected. For this reason, we all really need to train ourselves to treat each day like it is our last day here. I had a similar experience of the purring with my other soul cat, Sam and you’re right, I feel like they knew we were right there and they knew they were safe. Your experience of Bunny still wanting to take care of you shows how much our animals are our guardians. They say we’re their guardians but for so many reasons, I think it’s the other way around.

Also, I find comfort believing that we will see our soul pets again. Sometimes I think that they’re soul pets because we’ve known them before in some way and in other ways, I think the connection never dies and it follows us from lifetime to lifetime.

I wish you so much healing, in all ways, Jenna. And I hope you start to feel Bunny’s presence still with you. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need extra support!

My soul cat’s name was Sushi and he passed about a month ago so I’m still trying to figure out how to live without him. I adopted him as an older cat from the shelter and I wasn’t even looking for a cat, but as soon as I saw his photo I knew we were supposed to be together.

I only had three years with him but those years were the best I’ve ever had. I have pretty bad anxiety and he would put his paw on my cheek and press his forehead into mine when I was feeling anxious. He never left my side and when I got home he would sprint to me.

Towards the end he stopped eating and drinking despite the vets best efforts. I knew it was time on the last night as I watched him walk to his brother and cuddle him (they basically just tolerated each other). I knew he was staying for me so when we went to bed I held him and told him if he needed to go it was okay. I said I didn’t want him to go but I understood. Sometime in the early morning he laid on my chest and I held him there until his last breath. I didn’t take him to the vet to be euthanized because he was terrified of the car and always had a panic attack when we went somewhere. I didn’t want that to be his last memory and the vet okayed it. I don’t normally share that because I know that people think I should have taken him anyway but I couldn’t do that to him.

I still have days that crush me and I cry all day. I still think I feel him coming to cuddle at night. I don’t think these things will go away and I know he will be in my heart forever. He’s the best decision I’ve ever made.
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Love and Above Cat Club replied:
Hi Monica, thank you for sharing Sushi with us. Three years isnʻt enough but weʻre so lucky to get the time we do. I had a cat named, Sam, who was also a soul cat. I knew him for such a short time before he passed but the relationship was deep. Sometimes I think these relationships are ones where weʻve known each other before, other lifetimes. Your decision to allow Sushi to transition at home is one I made with Cumin as well. I was able to have a vet come to the house but I knew once she was diagnosed that her last moments would not be a scary car ride or on a cold stainless steel table in a vet office. I teared up when you shared how Sushi passed – heart to heart – his heart on yours, forever and in all ways. Sending you so much love, Monica. Donʻt hesitate to reach out if you need extra support!