The Pain of Losing Your Soul Cat: Changing Emotions, Lasting Love

About four months ago, I lost my precious Juju. She was my soul cat, my starshine, my fur child, my everything. I got her from my best friend before she moved to California. I had her for 8 years. She passed 2 months short of her 9th birthday. Her death was completely unexpected and I was the one to find her. I was not home when she passed, but I hold a lot of guilt for not being with her. I hate so badly she died alone and that I didn’t not find her sooner. This loss has been profound and a pain i have never experienced before even with a history of trauma. I feel a piece of me died with her when she left. I feel so lost without her I talk to her often and know she is with me wherever I go, but this grief hits me hardest at night when I’m alone sometimes. Her pictures warm my soul and shatter my heart at the same time. I just miss my baby girl. 😭💔 Thank you for providing a space like this for people to share about their little angels and to help give a voice to the grief. 💜
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Love and Above Cat Club replied:
Cheryl, I’m so sorry to hear about Juju. The pain of losing our soul cats is a very different kind of pain despite even having a history of trauma, as you shared. Loss, especially when unexpected, is also traumatic and I’m so sorry. I know the warmth and shatter you feel speak of when you look at Juju’s photos. I feel that way with Cumin’s photos, but especially her videos. In fact, we created a mini course to help cat guardians navigate the journey when receiving a terminal diagnosis for their soul cat. The thing holding me back from releasing it are some video edits I need to do with my Cumin videos. Anyways, all that to say, I hear you and feel you. I’m glad you talk with Juju and know she’s with you! It’ll take some time to get used to how the relationship has shifted but know that you two will always be bonded, always and in all * ways. I’m so glad you found us, Cheryl! Please reach out anytime and know that we’re thinking of you and sending love!

We had to say goodbye to our Oliver Twist (only 9 1/2) just a couple days ago. It’s one of the hardest things we’ve been through as a family. Our Oliver represented hope during a dark time and all of us (even our kids) saved up for almost 2 years for him. He was a Ragdoll, so so beautiful, and our kids will never forget driving to pick him up and bringing him home. He brought so much life and joy into our home. He was truly a soul pet. He was diagnosed with heart failure right before Christmas 2023. It was such a shock to us. We were able to keep him as healthy as we could with an amazing home vet for the past nearly 16 months. He suddenly worsened a couple months ago and we knew this would be his year but we didn’t expect it so fast. We chose to give him a really beautiful last day instead of waiting even a few weeks so we could avoid a traumatic passing. Our big beautiful boy passed in my mom’s arms in the backyard with the sun shining down on him (he LOVED to sit in our laps outside) and birds chirping above. It still doesn’t feel real. We keep expecting to see him come around the corner to greet us when we come home. All the “firsts” are hitting so hard. So many tears. I know we’ll get through this but our hearts feel so broken right now. Thank you for letting me share about our boy. It feels comforting to know other people understand the grief.
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Love and Above Cat Club replied:
Thank you for sharing your sweet Oliver Twist with us, Heidi and I’m so sorry for your loss. All the cats I’ve known that were ragdoll or part ragdoll were/are some of the most loving cuddle bugs and so laid back in nature! Thank you for sharing the beautiful last day you created for him – what a loving gesture! My cat, Venti-Latte, also had heart failure and I opted also to let him go sooner than later, not wanting him to experience any blood clots and other complications that heart issues can bring. What a wonderful life you and your family gave Oliver – he came here knowing incredible love and you surrounded him with the same as he left this plane. And yes, the grief is so tricky. There are moments of numbness, crying that feels like will never stop, and gut-wrenching pain and emptiness – then moments of smiling when a cherished memory pops into your heart. The quiet of the house was really tough for me. Grief is such a process – go slow, love yourselves through it all, and put it down when it’s too painful. It will be there when you’re ready to process more. Sending lots of love and healing your way.

We are broken right now after learning the devastating news on Monday 7th April that our beloved cat Bailey was dead, having been knocked down by a car the Friday before. I had spent all weekend searching for him, desperately hoping he was trapped in someone’s shed. He would have been 2 years old next month – he was still a baby… our baby Bailey. Our daughter had found his photo online in June 2023 when he was a tiny ginger kitten and advertised as the only one left from the litter. My heart melted the moment I saw his picture and I knew immediately he had to be ours. Our daughter had been desperate for a kitten for years and he was The One. Only problem was he was in north wales and we’re in Surrey so it would be a 10 hour round trip drive to fetch him but amazingly my husband said he would do it for us! We agonised over his name all the time we were waiting to collect him and we finally agreed on Bailey the day before he came home. WOW – we LOVED HIM utterly and completely from the moment he arrived. We connected with him soul to soul. We have a dog and an older cat and Bailey brought out a whole different side to both of them – they became so playful, so alive, with him! He and our daughter were soul mates from day 1 – he was her dream companion, her ally, the love and light of her life. She is very fond of our dog and other cat but the bond and connection she had with Bailey was on a whole other level. He was her soul cat. He filled a hole in her and in me that we didn’t even know we had. He was the missing jigsaw piece in our little family. He loved snuggling with us either on the bed or on our laps and even better, he loved to lie on our chest, heartbeat to heartbeat. When he slept right there on my heart I felt such peace and love and I knew that as long as we had Bailey in our lives, I / we could get through anything. I realised early on that he was truly a special cat – he was a Healer. He had come to us to help heal our wounds. It was his face and especially his eyes that touched me the most – he would look deeply into my eyes and I knew he was seeing into my soul. It was the most incredible, wordless experience when our eyes locked. I could physically feel him reaching into my deepest wounds and soothing them with his deep, deep love. It was mind blowing. Not a week went by when I didn’t comment on what a miracle it was that we found him. He adored cuddles and he was always close by to us – he just loved our company and we loved his too. We thought we had decades ahead with him yet. He was going to journey with us through all the trials and tribulations ahead and as long as we had him we could get through anything. We were going to have so much joy watching him grow and change with every stage of his life. We were all just at the start of our journey together. And he was the soul cat that my daughter and I had waited our lifetimes to find. How can he be gone already and ripped away from us so violently? Since our devastating loss our home has been shrouded in grief. It is as if the sun has been dismantled and a light has gone out. Our daughter has barely got out of bed all week and her face is a scene of devastation and brokenness. I have barely stopped crying and the crushing pain and grief are unrelenting. The hole inside me that darling Bailey could reach into and fill with his beautiful soul is now gaping wide open again and it is swallowing me alive. I wish more than anything that I could have been writing this post 20 years from now and writing about the decades of love and life we had shared with him. It has only been 1 week since we lost him but it feels like a lifetime. We have limped through these past days like zombies. But it is only after I found this site this evening that I realised why we are so profoundly broken by his death. It isn’t just that it was so heartbreakingly premature. It is also because he was our Soul Cat. Realising this is bringing more tears pouring down my face. The enormity of our loss is even greater. I don’t know how long or if we will ever get over losing him like this and after only 20 months of loving and being loved by him. My soul is crying out for him but he is gone. I pray that we will one day be reunited with his beloved soul but meanwhile the world is no longer as we knew it when he was here with us. Thank you for giving me a space to honour our beloved Bailey here 🕯️🐾💔
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Love and Above Cat Club replied:
Oh my goodness, Rachel. Thank you for sharing your story with us. It just broke my heart. I’m so so sorry to hear about Bailey. One of my cats, Sam, that I only knew for such a short time was definitely one of my Soul Cats. You know from your experience that it’s not the length of time you spend together, it’s the depth of connection or rather, re-connection. I believe we’ve known our Soul Cats before and maybe that resonates for you as well. I think there are trauma aspects whenever we lose a loved one but especially when it’s sudden and so unexpected and I’m so sorry it happened this way. It may be too soon to do this, but I found creating an altar space for Cumin was so healing. I’d buy fresh flowers each week for this very special spot in the house that had her photo, a candle, her collar and favorite toy. I hope you and your daughter start to feel Bailey’s presence still with you. It’s not the same as the physical cuddles, warmth, and love from this sweet ginger boy, it’s quite different but still very real. Thinking of you all and sending you lots of love and healing! Please reach out if you need more support!

My Suki left this world the day before Valentine’s Day. We were going to put him down because he was very sick and I wanted to ease his pain. He had mega colon for about 5 years. We maintained it and tried to keep him comfortable these last 5 years. We had him since he was about 4 weeks. He lived a very spoiled 13 years. He was my best friend, as silly as that sounds. He was the only creature outside of my children who had absolutely unconditional love for me. I miss him so much. I miss his face. I miss his expressions. I miss seeing him when I come home. It’s like a chunk of my actual heart is missing. I know he’s better and happier now and not in pain…. But I am. 😭
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Love and Above Cat Club replied:
Kimberly, I’m so sorry to hear about your Suki! And sharing that he was your best friend is not silly at all, it’s sound and makes the most sense. I really hear you when you say that outside of your children, Suki unconditionally loved/loves you. I felt the same with Cumin, my Soul Cat. For me, that piece was so difficult because I felt like I couldn’t feel the love anymore after Cumin passed. It was like she took the love with her. But after a while, and it certainly took some time, I’d start to feel her presence again. That’s when I really began to know that love is eternal – it’s always with us. But I know everything is still fresh and you may be feeling all the raw emotions.

I shared this in another comment but feel called to share again – you know when you’re crying and you can’t stop? It’s that gut wrenching crying that often leaves you with a headache? When I’d cry in this way, something would suddenly happen where I’d just stop – an abrupt stop. It’s like one minute, you think you’ll never stop crying and then suddenly you stop. I don’t know if you can relate to this but an animal communicator once shared that it’s the presence of our beloveds that makes us stop. It means they are near and wanting to comfort us. I know not much can provide any comfort right now, but I hope you keep this with you and remember it the next time you’re crying and think it will never end. Sending lots of love and healing to you, Kimberly.