How Cats Keep Our Hearts Open to Self-Love

Clients often ask me:

“Why is self love so hard?”

My response is always something like, “I know, right?!” 

Learning to love ourselves is a big part of our spiritual journey, a journey that doesn't have a traditional "end" or "destination."

It's not like we’ll ever "get there and be done."

But this I promise you:

We can absolutely get better at it in leaps and bounds!

For right now, just take in the fact that:

You already know how to love

Really take it in.

Say it out loud.

Let all the cells in your body hear it.

“I already know how to love.”

And this, my fellow feline-loving friends, is more than half the battle.

You might not have had the ideal childhood, or like me, you might have suffered from trauma in your early formative years.


You still know how to love.

Many of us who didn't have secure role models of love while growing up crave connection but find ourselves unable to connect deeply with others. Or we keep people at arms' length, with our guards up, then joke (sort of) that we love animals more than people. 😬

Yet even without secure role models, we’re all still here and we’re okay.

We’ve managed to learn how to love and even cultivate a love as close to unconditional as maybe we’ll ever get!


Our cats.

Cats are incredibly powerful and healing!

We all remember and have stories about our first beloved cat and I imagine all of our stories are similar:

meet cat,
guard down,
heart open (although we might’ve tried to keep it shut),
full love flooding forth!

I remember the day my heart burst wide open for the love of cats.

This was a time before TNR, before we knew dry food and fish weren’t ideal staples for our cats. This was when I was only 4.

Standing on the stool in my great-grandmother’s house, I’d watch my aunt pour Purina Cat Chow from a big bag into a giant stainless steel bowl. Next came one can of Figaro Cat Tuna and just a quick sprinkling of warm water.
As my aunt carefully mixed the little x’s to coat each one with tuna, she said, “And don’t forget the most important ingredient…love! Don’t forget the love!” …as she continued mixing with her bare hands.

My job was to get the trays ready. My aunt put equal portions of the cat food mix on each one. I could only hold two trays, trying to keep them steady and being sure not to trip as I made my way to the back door.
I crouched and placed my two trays down, my aunt placed her four, and then went back into the house to get more.

And then came my favorite part...I hunkered down, smiling ear to ear, in my yellow and white checkered summer dress. Amidst a sea of cats eating their dinner, I stayed quiet, trying to keep my joy inside to not scare them.

This was love.


That was the day my heart cracked open.  💔 By age 4 I had already learned to protect my heart but as the years went on, I’d meet cats that would crack my heart wide open again and again:

harden heart,
meet cat,
heart open
...repeat ❤️❤️❤️

And I’m so grateful for this!

(Here's a photo of my cat-loving aunt, with Sam the tabby and Puni the black cat, and me at 4 years old.)

In order to love, you need to keep your heart open and our cats do this for us every single day. that we can continue to love in all ways, whether it’s loving ourselves or loving each other.

Whenever you doubt yourself...

take a look at your cat and observe how you love them

See just how much you love, and know how to love.

You ARE love.

By really integrating this knowing, you’ll start awakening parts of you and creating more space – a container – for self-love.

💌 Love Note: Years ago, as an act of commitment to personal growth and spiritual development, I made a flower essence blend for myself, specifically to support overall self-love in general. I'm so glad I did. It continues to be a great help. This is the SELF-LOVE blend that's in our shop today. Also available with aromatherapy essential oils added.

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